by Yvette Bethel
We use the term survival mode when at work to refer to a stressed or overwhelmed state. The word survival conjures an image of someone facing a life or death situation. Massive amounts of adrenaline are coursing through the system and at least two perceivable options. Should I stay and face the situation, as contentious as it may be? Or should I turn around and run away with all I’ve got?
Survival mode is adopted as a way of existing in environments where employees are not allowed to be who they are, share ideas or disagree with senior management for fear of the consequences. They also fear failure, the unknown, not keeping abreast of changes, or even bullying. You get the idea of how fear infiltrates the psyche of the workplace and causes employees to shift into this state of being.
In some circumstances, fear can surface after employees accept a job offer based primarily on the need for income instead of because it is something they are qualified to do. These employees are initially willing to do anything to get in the door. Organizations contribute to this dynamic by making an offer to the best of the applicants, not necessarily the best person for the role.
When fear is interwoven throughout the fabric of the organizational climate, coworkers learn to play power games at work to survive. This happens because when survival is the primary concern, self-preservation becomes more important than collaborating. These employees form dysfunctional alliances, disparage their fellow employees, and do whatever it takes to position themselves as indispensable, all in the name of survival. Unproductive conflict, maneuvering, and the decimation of trust are all by-products of survival tactics.
For instance, Jenna started working for her current employer three years ago. Prior to being hired, Jenna was unemployed for a year, suffering through multiple rejection letters, family sacrifices, incessant bill collector calls, and dead ends with interviews. Jenna earned a degree in IT but she accepted a job in the HR department, inputting salaries and benefits. Jenna’s manager has a difficult personality. She is abrupt with Jenna and the rest of the team, using threats to coerce them to work overtime to meet aggressive deadlines. Every day Jenna comes to work, she asks herself if today will be her last. She is destabilized by the daily threats.
There is an interesting difference between survival in the context of a life or death situation and survival at work. When survival instincts are activated in the wilderness, a person views themselves as being alive and wanting to remain alive. In the workplace, employees like Jenna who are in survival mode are dead inside, disenfranchised and afraid of losing a job or the business that is supporting their lifestyle. It is an internal death that happens where there is no hope, spark, or purpose.
Jenna faces threats almost every day and, as with others in survival mode, she works hard to meet her manager’s expectations. If her manager blames her for something, she defends herself, she even blames others. She is programmed to survive, defend, survive, and defend. Jenna is stuck in a perpetual loop driven by belief systems like, don’t rock the boat, survival of the fittest, do as you are told, it’s all about me, and there are limited resources.
No matter which beliefs drive survival behaviors, they become a filter for everything and if challenged, they can trigger a variety of unproductive emotions. To make the leap from being disempowered to engaged, it is time to shift your thinking by building new mental models based on empowered thinking.
The Journey to Engagement
Jenna is frustrated and concerned about her job security so she hired a coach to help her shift her mindset and herself into the career she prefers. The first thing Jenna’s coach said to her is that only she can empower herself. No-one can do this for her.
The first step Jenna took to move from this state to an engaged one is to acknowledge what she is feeling because she realized a critical step in mastering her situation is to master herself. So Jenna learned to identify and acknowledge her fears and the patterns associated with her fears like blame, cover-up, and impatience.
When you are considering how you can shift to engagement you can ask yourself this question: “I always have a choice, so why am I making the choice to remain in this position?” In Jenna’s case, needing the income and the memories of the uncertainty and sacrifices made while unemployed are an obstacle is the answer to this question reason but other possible answers to this question are, “I don’t have a degree and would not be considered for a job with similar complexity and pay.” or “I have worked here for so long that it is daunting to think of a change.” The possible reasons are limitless.
Once you identify your fear(s) you can start to transform your thinking by asking yourself follow-up questions like:
- How is this choice affecting my life?
- How are my emotions influencing my decision?
- What am I passionate about?
- Given what I am passionate about, is this the right career for me?
- Can I achieve my goals in a workplace like this?
- Under the circumstances, what can I do to develop and empower myself?
- What does the empowered version of me look like and what steps can I take to get there?
- What are my options?
- How can I mitigate the risks of any alternative action I may decide to take?
- What’s stopping me and how do I remove those obstacles?
In addition to your thinking, you need to be especially aware of the emotions caused by the thoughts that are driving your actions. There are employees who have a difficult time identifying or acknowledging their emotions because there are so many survival layers obscuring their perception. So self-awareness is vital, otherwise only the symptoms of your disempowered state will be addressed and real change will elude you.
Once you recognize or acknowledge your emotional and mental frameworks you can start to identify the patterns of reaction associated with these thoughts and emotions. At this point you can begin to self-manage by reframing situations using the series of questions above and any others you may feel are appropriate. These questions can help you transform your perspective, navigate your emotions, and shift yourself into actions that can lead to a state of engagement.
What I am describing here are steps you can take to develop your emotional intelligence.
The great thing about emotional intelligence is you can enhance your emotional quotient if you choose. Developing your emotional intelligence can have a profound effect on your life, your business and your career because self-regulation has a transformational effect on your relationships.
About Yvette
Yvette is an HR and change consultant, emotional intelligence practitioner, trainer, and author of the book EQ. Librium: Unleash the Power of Your Emotional Intelligence; A Proven Path to Career Success. . She is a Fulbright Scholar with over 25 years of experience. During her tenure in the banking industry, she served in senior capacities in corporate strategy, marketing, PR, training, and human resources. Yvette Bethel can be reached at http://www.orgsoul.com/. Her book E.Q. Librium: Unleash the Power of Your Emotional Intelligence; A Proven Path to Career Success is also available at http://www.amazon.com/dp/0578083604/ and other retailers.
Karen Adamedes is an experienced executive, author and career-tipster. In her most recent book ‘Professional in Pajamas: 101 Tips for Working from Home’ Karen shares many of the insights she has gained during a decade of working from home, where she has negotiated multi-million dollar deals, led national teams and delivered major projects. She does admit to sometimes working in her pajamas.
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